


sources of light are hard to find

by ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Force Ghosts, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, How Do I Tag, Movie: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Planet Jakku (Star Wars), Slow Burn, can this writer actually write angst, ghost!Poe, mentions of child abuse, that will be debatable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls/pseuds/ofcomputernerdsandsoufflegirls
Summary: Rey really believes that life is going to get better for her on Jakku. She just found scrap from a recently crashed TIE fighter - which means more portions and that means she won't starve - and she acquired a good luck charm in the form of a necklace.What could possibly go wrong from here on out?What she doesn't expect is a ghost of a very handsome humanoid showing up.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	sources of light are hard to find

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! 
> 
> i was very much inspired by this prompt i had seen on tumblr: 'A is a ghost and B decides to help them find their body so they can leave their house. (Bonus if by the time they find their body they’re both crying because they know A wont remember them when they wake up)' and so be ready for some angst y'all. >:D 
> 
> (also i wrote this fic instead of writing a play and doing homework but you know it's fineeeeeeeee. also we shall see if i continue this or not because motivation!!! lmao wya i need you!!!)
> 
> also tw: there's a brief/kind of graphic mention of rey being abused towards the end, so if you wanna skip, go from 'i tried once.' to 'it didn't end well.'

Rey smiled as she rode her speeder back to her hunk of junk of a home, an abandoned AT-AT in the middle of the harsh desert of Jakku. Attached to her speeder were parts from a recently crashed TIE fighter, parts she knew that Unkar Plutt would want and would give her tons of portions.

Earlier in the day she had seen the TIE fighter swirling down from the sky all the way from Niima Outpost, her eyesight pretty good in comparison to all the other scavengers there. Smoke was rushing from it as it descended at an increasingly rapid rate. From that, she knew that she had to hop on her speeder before other scavengers got to it first. It took her a little bit to find out where the ship had crashed but luckily she was the first one to get there.

The sight in front of her wasn’t pretty; smoke and fire was raging high and glass shattered. She gave a little sigh, sad to see a ship like this destroyed but she immediately got to work, using her wrappings to cover her mouth and nose and she dug through the wreck. Interestingly enough, she couldn’t find any bodies; the only thing that remained of any life was the suit of a stormtrooper.

She dug through it for the next hour, finding lots of parts that weren’t damaged and still fit to use and weirdly enough a ring on a chain. Rey frowned as she picked it up. Why would stormtroopers wear necklaces? Shrugging it aside, she slipped the necklace over her neck and underneath her tunic, noticing just how right it felt to be wearing it as the metal was cool against her skin despite the intensity of the sun’s rays. Maybe it was a good luck charm of some sorts and even though she didn’t believe that she was particularly lucky, Rey still needed all the luck and any hope she could get in order to get off of this hellhole of a planet.

She slowed the speeder as it approached the lone AT-AT. Once the speeder was parked right in front of her home, Rey slipped off of it and hauled her findings into the cramped space. She couldn’t exactly leave it out. She had to keep it safe or else other scavengers would steal it from her. Rey set her heap of findings onto the sandy covered floor, giving a little sigh before plopping herself onto the ground.

Today was a good day, she mused to herself and smiled. Tomorrow she would get paid a lot of portions, meaning she would have food to eat for weeks instead of having to eat every other day. It sounded like tomorrow was going to be good.

It was then she thought of the necklace she had acquired from the wrecking, pulling it out from underneath her tunic to examine her new good luck charm. The ring itself was a plain band, no inscriptions on it whatsoever. Not even a jewel. Staring at it some more, she eyed it, noticing that maybe it was small enough for her to put on her ring finger. A part of Rey thought that it probably would be too big; her hands were too bony from not eating enough food and not having enough nutrients. But the other part of Rey was hopeful that it would. For once she would have something to own that would truly be hers that was valuable, not something that she would have to barter away later to survive.

She slipped it on slowly, afraid that it may be true that her finger wouldn’t fit like she hoped it would but to her surprise, the ring did fit on her finger.

It felt right for it to be on her finger.

A gasp rang out and it echoed in her tiny living space.

And she didn’t gasp.

Instinctively she grabbed her staff, ready to strike at the intruder, and she looked up -

Only to see that the being in question was a rather handsome humanoid man, curly luscious locks, scruff lacing what seemed to be a sharp jaw…..and a blue shimmer around his outline.

“What the karking hell?” she screamed. She knew of the stories that the women at the outpost told, stories about beings who were visited by ghosts meant that they were marked for death. The ghosts would follow them everywhere, revealing themselves only until the moment they were about to die. Anger ran hot in her veins. Rey wasn’t ready to die yet. Her family was waiting to come back to her at the right moment and if she died now, they would never get her. She would never meet them. She needed to meet them. She needed them.

Rey wasn’t going to let this spirit take her.

“Stay away from me,” Rey yelled at the ghost with her staff pointed at him, which kept a distance between the two of them. The man’s eyes widened in fear and he held up his arms in compliance.

“I’m staying away!” She kept her staff pointed at him regardless of his statement. Rey knew better than to trust people who said that. Usually they eventually stole things from her at the last second. “I swear to you, I'm just trying to figure out how I got here!”

“How you got here?” she retorted back. “You’re a ghost, you’re free to appear and go as you please!”

“Wait,” the ghost lowered his hands, his eyes meeting hers. Rey faltered a bit when he stared at her with that confused, sad look but she kept her staff up, determined to still defend herself in case this man was lying. “I’m a ghost? I’m dead?”

“You look dead. You’re blue for heaven’s sake!”

“What?” The ghost looked down at his hands, bringing them up to his face so he could see for himself. Terror laced his eyes as he looked. “No, no, no, no, no, I can’t be dead.” He looked at his legs, then attempted to look at his backside before pulling at his hair in anxiety. If Rey wasn’t so fearful of a ghost trying to take her life, she would’ve found this funny.  
“I have to-” He groaned before letting out a scream of frustration. Rey strengthened her grip staff, ready to be on the defense in case this ghost decided to attack her. “Augh, why can’t I remember? I have to-”

Rey frowned. This ghost was trying to remember?

He looked back up at her. “Where am I?”

“Jakku.”

“Jakku!” He clapped his hands together. “I had to do something on Jakku and….” the ghost trailed off.

“You’re here to get me,” Rey gritted out. “You’re on Jakku as a ghost to make sure I die.”

“What?” the ghost answered horrified. She couldn’t help but notice the line that appeared between his eyebrows as he frowned; a part of her wanted to rub it away, make him seem less concerned. “Make sure you die?”

She nodded her head. “The legends say that when you’re about to die, a ghost comes to you. It’s the final thing you see.”

“What? No, no, no,” the ghost shook his head. “I was here on Jakku to do something, something really important but I’ve forgotten what it is and I just-” He sighed, looking back down on his hands. “I know it means something really dearly to me and it means something to other people.”

Rey lowered her staff. He seemed very honest, not one to shy away from the truth, unlike others she had met here on Jakku. And somehow, she got the sense that this apparition couldn’t tell a lie for the life of him. There was just something very calming and earnest about him; that wasn’t something Rey was used to.

“What’s your name?” she ended up asking.

“I’m….” he trailed off, scrunching his eyebrows in concentration. “I’m Poe! Poe Dameron,” he smiled, obviously proud of himself for remembering that. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Rey.”

“Rey who?”

“Just Rey,” she responded, feeling slightly embarrassed and angry that she didn’t have a last name.

“Well Just Rey,” Poe said jokingly before sticking his hand out in front of him, “It’s nice to meet you.” She looked down waringly at his hand, unsure of what he was trying to do. Was he going to hurt her? Was he going to steal from her? Poe must’ve caught on because he said gently, “It’s just what some beings do when they meet other beings for the first time.”

Rey looked back into his eyes and saw nothing but warmth there. She found that she liked it, especially on Poe’s face. She attempted to take his hand but her hand went through his when she tried to grab onto it.

Poe’s face fell for a brief moment before slipping on a smile. “So Rey, tell me about yourself.”

She looked down at the floor of AT-AT, seeing mostly sand and all her pile of newly acquired scrap. Rey honestly didn’t know what to tell Poe or where to even begin but she was grateful that Poe wasn’t pushing her to talk. When she looked up, all she saw was a gentle, patient look on his face.

“I’m a scavenger,” Rey began, sitting down on the floor and Poe followed, his ghostly appearance going through the scrap that was there as he attempted to sit.

She talked to him for hours, only pausing to get sips of water from her canteen and to get half a portion to eat. It was odd talking about herself for so long; she didn’t even know that she had the words in her to even speak for as long as she did. And with every story she told Poe she could remember, the ghost would nod his head in understanding, frown and laugh at all the right moments, and actually would get angry on her behalf.

Eventually her throat was sore from talking for so long and Poe suggested that maybe she should get some rest, a suggestion she readily agreed with and climbed into her hammock.

It was nice having someone to talk to, someone who wouldn’t judge her and just listened for once, she thought to herself as her eyes fell heavy. She liked having someone to talk to. For the first time in forever, Rey truly felt not alone as she clutched the ring in her hand.

\---

She got up bright and early with Jakku’s sun; it was hard not to. The heat was unbearable first thing in the morning and Rey was so used to waking up when the sun rose that it was a hard habit to break.

When she first opened her eyes and sat up, she was greeting with the sight of Poe looking at the night bloomers that were sitting in a little cup on a piece of scrap metal she fashioned as a table.

Sensing her being awake, he turned to her with a soft smile on his face. “Morning Rey.”

“Morning,” she replied back, wiping the drool from her back. “You’re still here.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Rey just shrugged. She thought maybe she dreamed Poe up, that maybe she hadn’t actually talked to someone for hours and hours and wasn’t alone for the first time in her miserable life on Jakku. “Nobody ever sticks around. I figured that you might’ve disappeared or gone someplace else.”

“I don’t know where else I would go,” Poe chuckled. “I don’t know of any other life forms out there I can go to.”

“There’s Teedo. But he’d probably try to knock you out just so he could take your parts,” Rey teased, moving to gather the scrap she was going to give to Unkar.

“Definitely wouldn’t want that,” Poe laughed for a little bit then his face sombered up. “But in all seriousness Rey, I would never leave you.”

It was weird hearing him say such nice words, words that Rey had grown not to trust. Words like that were what got a life form killed in Jakku. But Poe was sincere and kind; a huge difference from the others she encountered out in the desert. “You just met me. You don’t even know me that well,” she responded, trying to brush away the glimmer of hope that was sprouting in her chest.

Poe shrugged. “I know you well enough. And I like to think I have a good judge of character.”

Her eyebrows knit together. “And what is it that you think my character is?”

A pregnant pause filled the air and Rey spent it staring at Poe, afraid of what he would say. She wasn’t even sure why she was afraid. “Sunshine. You’re like sunshine,” he finally responded, looking at her straight in the eyes. Her heart beat wildly and a part of her wondered what colors Poe’s eyes actually were, not the blue tint that seemed to encompass his form.

“Haha,” she started nervously, picking up the scrap and heading towards the entrance of the AT-AT. “That’s really funny.”

“What’s funny?” Poe followed her outdoors, the sun’s harsh rays shining down on them and making Poe even more transparent than before. In the corner of eye she even noticed that he wasn’t making a dent in the sand; no footsteps were being left behind as he walked behind her.

Rey shoved the scrap in the netting on the side of her speeder. “Sunshine. It’s just-” she motioned to the suns before turning back to look at him. “-ironic, that’s all. You did meet me on Jakku.”

“Rey, you know that’s not what I meant when I said it. I wasn’t even thinking about that.”

“Then what were you thinking about?” She went back to tying the scraps to the netting, to ensure that it wouldn’t fall out.

“Your smile,” Poe answered immediately and Rey faltered, her hands pausing from the work that needed to be done. “It’s so bright and it honestly lights up the room.” Nobody had ever said anything nice about her like that before and she had never heard anything as sincere as the words that left Poe’s lips. And to add to that, in the 24 hours that she’s known him, he had already said so many nice things about her. Most of the words spoken about her were her being a filthy, little scavenger.

She shook him off again, not sure how to handle the nice words he was saying to her. “I wouldn’t know.” Rey headed back inside to the AT-AT to grab the remaining scraps and her staff and bag, slinging both over her shoulder. Poe didn’t make a move to argue with her, which she appreciated but also detested because it felt she made him upset.

As she was shoving her staff with the scrap, Poe asked, “Where are you going?”

“Niima Outpost,” she told him, climbing onto the speeder. “I have to sell these scraps to Unkar Plutt to get portions.”

“Want me to come with you?” She looked down at him at surprise. “I could be helpful.”

“Poe, you can’t touch anything,” she reminded him, wincing on the inside from how harsh she sounded. “Why would you want to come?” Rey knew she was being blunt but she just couldn’t help herself.

Poe shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I just don’t want to be alone.” Rey looked at him, studying his face. It was then that she felt bad about the last few hours. Poor Poe didn’t know anything about what was going and he was scared shitless the moment she had first met him. Leaving him alone at her AT-AT would just leave him stewing with his own thoughts and getting nowhere with them, leaving him frustrated and probably even more confused. Having him come with her wasn’t such a bad idea; in fact, after the last couple hours Rey didn’t want to be alone either, too accustomed to having Poe with her.

“Alright, I’ll meet you there?” she asked.

“Why would I meet you there?” he frowned, putting his hands on his hips.

“Can’t ghosts just disappear and go wherever they want to?”

“I don’t know! I’m still new to all of this.” Poe then dropped his hands to his sides and just stood there, looking relaxed.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? I’m trying to go to Niima Outpost.”

“You look like you’re meditating. Do you even know where Niima Outpost is? Maybe that’s the issue, you don’t know where it is.”

Poe looked exasperated at her. “Yes I do, it’s obvious.”

“Which direction is it in then?” Rey asked, raising her eyebrow.

He clicked his tongue at her, putting his hands on his hips before glancing around. She knew that the sight he’d be met with was just sand, which gave no indicator to where Niima Outpost was. Poe took his time and glanced at each direction, which made Rey know he really didn’t know where it was. He looked back at her smugly before pointing in a direction. “It’s that way.”

She couldn’t wait to break that smug look on his face but decided to let it rest for a bit and let him think he actually knew where it was. He raised his eyebrow at her with a smile and then she finally broke, “It’s actually in the opposite direction.” Poe looked at her disappointed and Rey broke out into a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. As soon as her laughter died down, she motioned for him to get onto the speeder. “C’mon Poe. Hop on.”

Poe climbed up onto the speeder and then took his place behind her on it. “Hey, I’m actually not going through this thing,” he realized. Her eyes widened at the sight behind her. In her moment of laughter, she completely forgot that he couldn’t touch things.

“How?” she breathed out, feeling just as surprised as Poe looked.

“Maybe it’s because I’m thinking really hard about not going through it?” he guessed.

Rey laughed again. “Maybe you will be some use after all,” she commented before bringing the speeder to life.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

\---

They reached Niima Outpost fairly quickly and Rey patted her speeder’s metal covering, thanking it mentally for being able to get them there, before going to gather the scraps attached to the sides of it. When she reached the side where Poe slid off, he was staring at Niima Outpost with a look of recognition on his face.

“I remember this place…” he breathed out, his eyes wide as he took in the sight. “We flew over this place to get to Lor.” Rey’s lips pursed together, trying to hold back from asking questions, and Poe continued, “I remember BB-8 asking me-” He shook his head in frustration and disappointment. “I can’t remember anymore.”

“Hey,” she said softly, going to pat him on the arm but then remembering that she couldn’t. “You remembered something. That’s better than nothing.”

Poe looked at her with his eyes reflecting sadness that Rey so desperately wanted to push away. “Yeah, better than nothing.”

Rey quickly gathered the scraps she needed, putting them in her bag and then she hauled her staff over her shoulder, having Poe as lookout until she got all of them, and hauled them over to the line in front of Unkar Plutt’s stall. It wasn’t fairly long thank goodness, and besides it was early in the morning so all of the other scavengers were making their way towards the abandoned Star Destroyers out west.

“How many portions do you think you’ll get?” Poe asked her as they waited.

“I can see it at least being thirty portions, if not more,” Rey responded, feeling slightly giddy at the fact she’d finally have enough food for once. Most of the past few days, she had to only eat half a portion in order to make sure her bundle of portions didn’t run out. “He doesn’t usually get fresh TIE fighter scraps. From what I’ve heard, the First Order doesn’t come to Jakku.”

She took a glance at Poe only to see his eyebrows furrowed together in disagreement, his eyes dark. “I don’t think that’s the case.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Poe didn’t get to answer because Unkar Plutt yelled, “Next!” She threw a worried glance at Poe before making her way to the counter, depositing all of the scrap in front of the large Crolute. Unkar looked at the pieces of scrap in disdain and Rey felt her insides fall at that. “Where’d you find this?”

“Out north,” Rey responded, eyeing him. He continued to look at the scrap and after a few moments, she asked, “How many portions is this?”

A beat passed and Rey waited with bated breath. “Fifteen portions,” he announced gruffly before taking the scraps and putting them behind him.

“Fifteen portions?” Rey questioned in outrage. “These scraps are at least thirty! You know that!”

Unkar Plutt spat at her and she dodged to avoid the phlegm coming out of his mouth. “You either take it or leave it. I can make it five if you like,” he grinned evilly.

Rey glared at him and he just smirked in response. She sighed, giving in. It was either fifteen portions or her starving and she couldn’t do that. “Fine. Fifteen.”

“Or…” Unkar Plutt started and she looked up to glare at him.

“Or what?” she snapped, regretting it immediately, thinking back to the all the other times that she had defied Unkar Plutt’s control and gotten beaten in return.

Luckily for her Unkar Plutt didn’t comment on it or make notice of it. “You could give me that fancy necklace you have there.” Rey’s eyes widened, looking down to see that the necklace somehow slipped out of her tunic. She quickly slipped it back under before glaring back at Unkar Plutt.

“It’s not for sale,” she firmly declared, feeling odd about being so protective about a ring she just acquired the day before. In other circumstances, she knew she would’ve given up the ring willingly. Rey didn’t know why but she felt like it was important, that it meant something.

Unkar Plutt grunted in disapproval but didn't try to convince her any further. He then dumped the portions onto the counter and Rey quickly grabbed the portions in her arms, stuffing them into her bag as she didn’t want to be there any moment longer. As she scrambled away from the stall, she could hear Unkar Plutt’s booming voice yell, “Next!”

“Rey, what the hell was that?”

Rey stiffened, forgetting momentarily that Poe was there with her. She turned around to see him looking at her concerned, his eyebrows furrowed once more. The more she saw him like that, the more she wanted to rub away the line that appeared between his eyebrows. “What was what?”

“That!” he pointed back to Unkar Plutt’s booth. “Rey he jipped you! Does that always happen?”  
Rey looked away and she knew that her not answering him gave Poe the answer he needed. “Why don’t you do something about it?”

“I tried once. When I was twelve, I snuck into Unkar’s booth after I thought he left.” She remembered it all so well, her stomach growling in protest from leaving it empty for so long. The door was slightly ajar and Rey had slipped in, her body narrow enough to fit through the crack. She figured that by doing that, Unkar wouldn’t know that she came in. Right as she was putting the portions into the little basket she made out of her tunic, he came in and grabbed her roughly on the arm, hard enough that it left a bruise. He beat her with whatever scrap was there, the metal scraping against her skin so much that blood was drawn and leaking down her skin and onto the yellow, coarse sand. She had managed to run away before he could do any more damage to her and Rey collapsed out of exhaustion the moment she made it back to her AT-AT, her blood sticky against her skin. “It didn’t end well.”

“Rey,” Poe started, his face aghast at what she implied. He reached toward her, arm outstretched and he opened his mouth to say something else-

“Have you seen these two?” a muffled voice from behind a helmet asked loudly, pulling her out of her dark spiral and increasing shame of spilling out one of the darkest parts of her life. She glanced over her shoulder to see the shiny white shell of armor talking to the old woman at the other stall with a holoprojector in hand. The hologram showed the face of a dark skinned man wearing the armor of the stormtrooper, gun in hand and then it quickly shifted to another hologram; one of a man wearing a brown leather jacket and a rogue lock of hair fashionably styled over his forehead with a smirk firmly placed on his face.

She gasped.

“What?” Poe asked her, breaking her out of her surprise, and looking at her with concern.

“Poe,” she breathed out his name. “I think you’re alive.”


End file.
